Kimberley over at All Work And No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something posted this ages ago, but I just discovered it. She in turn had stolen it from Lori at Random Ramblings From A SAHM. If you haven’t read their blogs yet, go now. Okay, well, go after you read mine. Cause they’re awesomely funny women, and honestly, there aren’t enough people that make me laugh in a day anymore…
Today, on New Year’s Eve, I thought this little exercise would be good for me. I spend a lot of time thinking, worrying, and writing about my kids. So tonight, for the few minutes it takes for me to form semi-true, semi-witty comments to tack on to the ends of these phrases (you get to decide which are which), I am going to focus on me.
Wait a minute – I think I need a nice humungous Kym-sized glass of shiraz if I’m going to tackle this. Be right back…
Okay. Glass of wine – check. Kids in bed – check. Hubby cleaning kitchen (no, for real – he’s cleaning the kitchen, and I’m farting around on the computer. Oh, and he cooked dinner too, like usual. Yup – neener, neener, neeee-nerrrrr!) – check. So here we go….
If I Were, I’d be
If I were a month, I’d be October. Cause autumn is the best time of the year, crisp and cold, leaves turning, apples ripe for the picking, pumpkin pies cooking… yummy. Yup, definately October.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Wednesday. Because its the middle of the week, and everyone finds it challenging. Also because its sort of funny sounding, and tough to spell. Okay, I have no good reason. Just because. And definately not because its also known as “Hump Day”… Definately not.
If I were a time of day, I’d be sunset.
If I were a planet, I’d be Uranus… Okay, that was Kim’s answer. But it was so frickin’ me, i just had to steal it. Thanx, Kim. Kindred spirit.
If I were an animal, I’d be a Weimereiner. Which is a really tall, gangly, kinda pretty but pretty awkward dog breed. But cool, in a “I want one” kind of way…
If I were a direction, I’d be North.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a kitchen table, because its at the heart of things!
If I were a liquid, I’d be 7-Up.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be a blue topaz.
If I were a tree, I’d be a Maple.
If I were a tool, I’d be… Nope I’m not a tool. Don’t be a tool.
If I were a flower, I’d be a daisy.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be the sun after a good cleansing rain. Cheery and bright, but earthy and nurturing also.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be an oboe. Because double reeds make you crazy.
If I were a color, I’d be yellow.
If I were an emotion, I’d be happy.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a grapefruit. Because its my Gramma’s favorite. And you need a funky shaped knife to cut them. But mostly because Gramma liked them best.
If I were a sound, I’d be loud. Nuff said.
If I were an element, I’d be neon. Because it shines in the darkness.
If I were a car, I’d be a Mercury Marquis. Looong, expensive, and really comfy to cruise around in.
If I were a food, I’d be yummy.
If I were a place, I’d be home.
If I were a material, I’d be cordouroy.
If I were a taste, I’d be a nice young Shiraz – forward and fresh, a little strident, but worth sticking away for a while, to see what she’ll be like when she matures…
If I were a scent, I’d be citrus. Refreshingly bright, and a little bit fruity.
If I were a body part, I’d be your uvula. Yup. Look that one up.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a wink. Saucy…
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be expensive. And uncomfortable to wear. But damn, I would make you look mah-velous!
So there ya go. A post just about me. No hint of my kids at all. I swear. Okay, you talked me into it: